When I’ve finally recovered from holiday engagement season and see my first Valentine’s Day engagement

HOW I FEEL BEEFING UP MY RESUME TO APPLY FOR JOBS

WHEN I FINALLY GET MY DRUNK FOOD

When my friend doesn’t give me a plus one to her wedding because she knows I’ll bring a single friend and drink all the booze

When my friend tells me her boyfriend doesn’t want to her to hang out with us because we drink too much

WHEN I GET BACK TO MY ROOM

MY EXCUSE WHEN I CANT SEEM TO STOP EATING…..EVER